my hometown makes my brain melt

Things I did this weekend:

1. went to the dump. three times. the dump people now know me by name.
2. avoided being hit by stupid tourist drivers who don't know what they are doing or where they are going.
3. decided not to look at aforementioned drivers' license plates to see if they were from Alberta.
4. was the whitest person on the beach.
5. drank beer on a patio. was chatted up by a 39 year old guy in a blinding hawaiian shirt who thought I was 21. the mind boggles.